At some point in my journey, I realized that weighing myself was not beneficial & didn't actually help put me in the frame of mind to do anything productive about changing a situation I wasn't happy with. In fact, come to find out, it caused more self-sabotage than if I didn't even weigh myself at all.

So, I didn't. For over 2 years. Maybe even 3.

It was a period of time I needed to protect ME from ME I guess you could say.

I couldn't handle the emotional roller coaster effect that being a few pounds up (or a few pounds down) would do. I was in reactive mode about that friggin number. Simply because I allowed that number to mean something about who I was. (Or who I wasn't)

Fast forward to September 2016. I was over-due for my annual (like ummm a YEAR overdue. Don't judge.) & as I made the appointment I realized I would soon be weighing in & getting my blood pressure taken for my medical records.

so... What would I do about it? How was I going to handle it?

In the past I would just tell the nurse practitioner how much I weighed. I refused to get on the scale & I just said "write down 155." & she would. Those youngins really don't want to get involved in any hormonal, emotional upset with patients. That's left for the doc.

This time I was like "fuck it." I'm steppin on that scale & I have NO CLUE what that number will read. AND I won't allow that to MEAN ANYTHING about myself.

I mentally prepared, but this time it was more of a surrender & an acceptance for what is.

That's what I did... & here's what happened:

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p.s. the photo above is the dress I ultimately found for the wedding that I was headed out shopping for. I didn't care about the sizes I was trying on. I cared about how I felt in the dress. A dress not fitting you DOES NOT MEAN there is something wrong with you. Be mindful of what you are saying to yourself over & over in these situations.... your body hears it.

Post below - Are you still in that place of feeling like you're on an emotional roller coaster every time you weigh yourself? How are you reacting to that number? What are you making that number MEAN about yourself?